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Don't hate the lion, kill the lion

Posted by Mohammed Nazari on Monday, October 6, 2014 Under: Logic First - Emotion Third
Don't hate the lion, kill the lion.

Author: Mohammed Nazari

Sometime ago I met this lady whose 5 year old daughter was abducted, tortured, probably sexually assulted and killed. To this date, several years later, the mother kept a huge hate towards the predator who was caught and put in jail for good.

I asked her how she would feel if a lion would have attacked her daughter and killed her. Would she hate the lion? We know that it is the nature of the lion to attack, when hungry or threatened. In a logical way we get rid of the threat, e.g. by killing or caging the lion, but we wouldn't hate the lion.

The predator of her daughter was diagnosed as a psychopath. Not much different than a lion, who doesn't realize what he is doing and the consequences.

The predator had never admitted to any wrong doing or sign of remorse, and he had even made a hint that he had done the little 5 year old a favor by killing her.

Then I asked her how she would feel if her own son, was a psychopath, by birth, and had done the same horrendous crime to someone else's little daughter? She did not want to take this test, understandably.

The reality in this case scenario, most likely because "we know" or "want to know more" about the psychological diseases, we would be more "understanding" of the fact that these type of predators don't know what they are doing. Although agreeing with putting him in jail, we may not hate our own son.

This way we avoid some of the emotional aspect of the suffering, such as "hate", and only go through the mourning of losing a child. I believe taking this logical approach will be more effective with less pain.

Although she did agree with the logic that I offered, she needed sometime to understand it by heart and be able to practice it in action, normal process of change.

In : Logic First - Emotion Third 

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A Personal Journey (Speech)

Author: Mohammed Nazari

Please find the link to the YouTube videos below

Part 1: https://youtu.be/A4BzmJ7jwOg

                               Part 2: https://youtu.be/JufeK2G-U8E

  •  It is amazing, when you have a big "goal" in mind, most other big "problems" look like small "challenges"       
  • Education in Canada is more practical than in the east which is more theoretical. After all you can find the theory in books or online, without needing to go to school.

Reasons for my failure as an employee:

1. Higher Canadian standards and sensitivity level  

2. My defensive behavior    

  •  Blaming  your behavior or action does not mean blaming you as a person
  • One for all, All for one

3. Inability to be honest with my own feelings  

  • Pride that has no basis, doesn't allow you to be honest.

4.  Canadian are too polite to be honest   

  •  If you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything
  • Read between the lines

 Resolution:

  •  Knowledge of higher/different Canadian standards and simply following versus questioning them
  •  Longer orientation
  •  Welcoming comments and asking for further explanation versus defending our self
  • Being honest with our feelings and abilities:

o   Acknowledging your weakness is a sign of honesty and makes you stronger.

  • Asking versus commenting:

o   Don't assume, ask question

o   Don't comment, ask question

o   Don't judge, ask question

o   When in doubt, ask question

o   When you think you know, ask questions to clarify

o Comments are not welcome, questions are

ยท         What kind of question?

1. Open ended and unbiased questions

2. Yes-No questions to clarify

When you have a car problem whom you ask for help? your Doctor, mother or mechanic.

Although this question seems silly, we make this mistake all the time, asking a professional question from people outside of that profession and building opinions.

  • Ask questions from the right person(s). The ones with proven success.

 

You will learn more from the successful people who can show you how to succeed.

Unsuccessful people can show you how not to fail the way they did.

 While the pathways to success are few, there are multiple pathways to fail.

Which one is easier and more effective to learn?

 Uncle Google and my cousin YouTube can help you with any questions.

Starting my own business

  •  In order to have a good society/business, good structure is more important than good people.
  •  The main sources of work/interpersonal problems are: communication and expectations.
  •  Interpersonal skills are not just talking nicely but much more importantly is to follow a structure and    framework, even if it is not the best structure.
  • Having a poor structure is better than having no structure

I would I would recommend that you ask my uncle and cousin, Google and YouTube, about the following:

follow

  • Active listening
  •  Critical thinking
  • Yes-No question
  • Open ended question
  • how to be honest with oneself

 

After all My success and happiness depends on your success and happiness.

Let us make life better for all of us.

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