What is the Penicillin for the social diseases? “I don’t know”

Author: Mohammed Nazari

Invention of the Penicillin was a huge step forward in the history of medicine. I believe with only one small change we will have the same huge step forward in our mental health as an individual as well as a society. And it is by saying “I don’t know, when we don’t know, and ask more questions instead of making comments”.

Lack of information in a field allows some to make comments or judgements, which is dangerous.

This is when one feels more comfortable making comments or judgments. Although as soon as one gets some sort of general information in the field/subject, they then realize that there is a lot more to be known before any comments or judgment is made.

How frequent does it happen that we make comments, have opinions, get excited,  passionate, angry and frustrated with others, authorities and government for the choices they have made, while we don’t know the details or are not qualified, due to lack of knowledge or education, to comment.

I believe this is the main source for most of the disagreements, frustrations and fights in our life and society.

1.       Once when in Toronto, a friend of mine and I were driving and all of sudden another car, cut us off. My friend got really angry and said “Does he think he's smart that he got ahead of me, what a ….”. I said “How do you know what he thinks”.  He said then why did he do what he did.  I said “I don’t know” however if you are really interested you can catch up to him and ask him. Then I added, “How do you know he did not see you and made a mistake, and now he is embarrassed about it”. I have made the same mistake of cutting someone off before, not seeing them for a moment and then be embarrassed about it, so I drove even faster so that they cannot see me. I am sure there could be a lot of different reasons as to why that guy cut us off, I just don’t know which one was his reason. So I am not going to comment or get mad at it, and rather if I could I would make sure he is aware of his mistake.

2.       Recently in Canada, rules have changed so that no student will fail a grade, meaning regardless of how poorly they do at school, they will move to the next grade the year after. This became a hot topic for some, complaining that the students won’t learn and that they have to work hard, and that they will suffer more as they go to the higher grades which will even be worse than failing a grade and so on. My answer is, although all of the above comments sound correct, I am not sure if I know all the details and reasoning that the authorities know, the authorities who made this decision, and to this extent I am not qualified to make any comment. However I can ask questions. I do believe that the authorities have the best intention of the society in mind. Has it happened where others commented or try to teach you how to do your job? Do you do the same to others, where you comment and teach them how to do their job, without knowing all the facts? In all these cases the best is “To ask why you do what you do instead of making comments and get angry or frustrated”.

The only question is do you trust that the authorities have the best intention of the students in mind?

3.     Several years ago, before computer was as advanced as it is now, we used our computer to send faxes at times. We got this hardware from a company in Vancouver and installed on our computer to do the job. After sometime, The fax function failed. I did call a professional to come and fix the problem. I asked him to fix the hardware. He spent more than an hour and finally said that we need to contact that company for a piece. Then I changed my request and asked if we could send fax through the computer itself. Within 15 minutes he got everything going. After paying his bill for an extra hour I learned my lesson "know the main purpose and ask the right question"

4.       How frequent you make comments about what other people or businesses, in your immediate circle or community, do without asking them why they do what they do”. Most likely you have been judged yourself on what you have done or said the same way although others should have asked why you did or said what you did or said before making comments.

Don’t rush into “commenting” and get the habit of “asking”. This way you will learn more and do not get frustrated or angry with others.

Most of our anger, worries and frustrations are due to our lack of knowledge and we could feel differently if we know more. So get used to "asking more" versus "making conclusions"